


Because I Dared To Exist

by allonsy_gabriel



Series: Another 51 [10]
Category: Original Work
Genre: (but dying is easy. living is harder.), (perhaps) - Freeform, An In Depth Analysis of My Hero Complex, Do I Have Fantasies Of Dying Like A Martyr?, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Literally Can Not Shut Up, Personal essay - Freeform, Philosophy, Pretentious, Whoops Lets Psychoanalyze My Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 17:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel
Summary: People have always been afraid of change and those who are different, and people do awful things when they are afraid. But if people are scared, it’s because that change is occurring. It’s because they are listening, and they recognize that progress is inevitably on the horizon.





	Because I Dared To Exist

**Author's Note:**

> this is Not Great but i Wrote It so here It Is

_ Better to die because I dared to exist, than to live as some lesser creature kept alive only because it’s never been capable enough to pose a threat _ —I wrote these words in November of 2018, whilst refreshing the comments section of a video of me posted on Facebook by a local news station. The video showed me, decked to the nines in every sort of rainbow paraphernalia I owned at the time, holding a sign declaring that  _ Love is Love _ in front of a rally for our current governor in which Vice President would be speaking. The responses I was getting were… less than pleasant. People have always been afraid of change and those who are different, and people do awful things when they are afraid. But if people are scared, it’s because that change is occurring. It’s because they are listening, and they recognize that progress is inevitably on the horizon.

For as long as I can remember, people have told me to be quiet and watch my tongue. It’s advice that does not come from a place of annoyance or anger, but instead from a place of concern. My very being begs for conflict, and sometimes people can be unimaginably cruel. The safest option for me  _ would _ be to keep my head down.  _ Hold your tongue and bear it _ , they say,  _ at least until you’ve left this place, at least until you’re somewhere else _ . I refuse. I have  _ always _ refused. There is no life in silence. If I was to take this advice, if I was to submit myself to the world around me without a word, I would not  _ be _ . I would cease to exist in every way that matters. If I’m going to die (as we all must, eventually) let it be because I did not shy away from that which matters, not because I allowed myself to waste away in silence.

I wrote this quote in a moment in which I legitimately feared for my physical wellbeing. People themselves are not, in my opinion, inherently bad, but they are prone to doing things that undoubtedly  _ are _ . I had received threats, which in and of itself was not  _ new _ , but it was certainly not pleasant. The options ahead of me at that moment seemed to be ‘ _ stop talking and stay safe’ _ or ‘ _ risk physical and emotional harm for the sake of standing up’ _ . I decided, as I almost always do, to keep going. Thank God and all the saints, nothing terrible came from it, at least not this time. However, I am wholly and completely aware that someday something horrible may happen. In fact, looking at the statistics, something horrible most likely  _ will _ happen. I don’t welcome this—I am not, contrary to popular belief, one who goes out spoiling for trouble—but I’m not so naive as to not know the possible consequences of the actions I have decided to take, and I  _ am _ ready.

I will never be silent. I will never  _ be silenced _ . As long as there is breath in my lungs and blood in my veins, I will continue on as I always have been—loud, assertive, and unafraid. Such are the facts of life—the Earth revolves around the sun, the tides roll in and out, and Aislyn will not shut up until she is literally forced to. It’s a reputation I’m proud of, and will most likely always be proud of. As far as I can tell, progress is born of conflict, and conflict is born of people with the courage to speak up, no matter the cost. I will be one of those people.

This quote is my battle cry. It’s my  _ Braveheart  _ speech, my motto, my creed. It’s written in Latin on every metaphorical banner in my metaphorical castle. These are the words tattooed against my ribcage with every heartbeat. I will not stand by, silent and meek, as others attack that which I hold dear. They may come for me, this much is true, but I say let them. Let them come. Let them try.

**Author's Note:**

> w h o o p s


End file.
